"What the guide told me", a poem - Haiti revisited

12th January day of the Haiti earthquake, 2 years on. Last month, I hosted and performed for two charity events, One By One For Haiti  and Haiti: Year Zero +2. Both events aim to remind us that the after affects of the disaster are still deeply resonating amongst the din of so many other news reports.

I found my attention turned to the women and the young girls who are living at high risk in the 'makeshift' camps, which should be places where all survivors can come together in mutual support of each other after a catastrophic event. In contrast, there has been an increase in their vulnerability. There  have been reports of up to "250 rapes in the first 150 days". Source: Women for Peace - Rape Crisis for Haiti: report.

It is never easy to talk about rape. Just the sound of the word alone is hard-hitting, chilling, anger-making. No one talks about it lightly. Though I've heard a few jokes round it that have made me guffaw purely because of the sheer brazen-ness of them. But in reality we've seen an increase globally in reported rape of both women AND men, an occurance so rarely talked about because of the shame.  But the true shame is in the value judgment placed of one over the other when the act itself is as dehumanising for humanity all round.  For whatever reason, attitudes toward sexual aggression is even more disturbing in its normalization towards women in the light of it being shocking and taboo for men.

 Also, it is under circumstances of crisis when the abhorrence of a crime against another human being such as rape becomes magnified, because we must consider how rigid attitudes

Even though its just a taste...

...its ok. The year is young.

So finding this now video by Kali Films is enough to add to the galvanized and inspired spirit I am feeling for the next phases of creating and completing Travelling Light.

Alice has been a childhood inspiration for me, The temple of My Familiar being my favourite book of hers. The strength of her voice and the faith of those in it, consistently re-ignites a humble fire in me to continue to put one foot in front of the other in times of uncertainty while navigating the tricky road as artist, writer and activist.

Watch this blog space. I feel it will be prolific this year....

"As Property Protests" - poem read live on The Book Show Sky Arts 1

After Gary Speed - Young Men, Suicide and Feminism

"Suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 35 in the UK, and seventy five percent of all suicides in the UK are male."
Not saying this for shock value, but I knew 4 men under the age of 40 who took their lives this year. One of whom was a very very close friend.  And since the sports man Gary Speed passed last week, there has been a outpouring addressing the state of minds of men who suffer from depression. An article came to my attention from the CALM campaign - Campaign Against Living Miserably.

click to enlarge

The reason I was drawn to this article is because of its reference to roles men and women have to endure, imposed upon them by "society", whatever that is these days. But whatever it is, it is taking lives as more and more men find it hard to be the square jawed, strong silent types that are apparently what they are (still)?!) expected to be.

Jane Powell, Chief Exec of CALM,  raises the issue of the role of feminism and male depression in a very condensed and  simplistic way but enough to rouse your interest in in the CALM website, the campaign and enough  to make me want to unpack why a global patriarchal system is failing its subjects, aside from propagating much unrest all over the planet that is  linked to profit driven and uber-individualistic idioms. Or maybe the three are closely connected: as men are expected to still bring home proverbial bacon and other  miscellaneous shiny things, they become a tad resentful of women and their "constant noise" (not my words) for equality, and women still expect men to open doors for them.

In the meantime, we all suffer traumas and distressing experiences that we need to talk about, that we need advice on how to cope with.  Then with expansion of  urbanisation and globalisation, the intensity of technology and the  white noise of the information age leave us with  little or next to no time  for introspective, reflective  thought, as the demand for our attention is constant and persistent. Some find ourselves in a habit of filling a need to be awake 24/7 in case we miss the next hot topic or an opportunity to buy the upgrade of a 'shiny thing'.  When we do stand still a moment, the noise can be deafening. Find something - a ritual, an addiction, SOMETHING - to squash it: alcohol, drugs, sex, partying... how many of us have been appalled by the behaviour of the young people we see on the BBC's "The Worlds Most Strictest Parent?"

The turbulence caused by conflicting emotions when maintaining an 'I can handle it'  exterior,  means the  burden of silence builds and compresses within hearts and minds. It shadows the spirit, undermines the psyche and the wounds  seep and begin to manifest themselves as misery, lethargy, pessimism, an anger that you cannot put your finger on and finally,  for some, a hopeless desperation that appears to leave no other option except ending the torment by taking steps to stop the beating of the ailing heart. I can only come to wonder where we are headed in the  ever raging gender equality dispute. Janet Powell says:

"We should indeed take a long, hard look at society and question some assumptions. Women now have full permission to be just who they want to be.  We can be a stay at home mum or a city banker, with or without a family...."

"If you flip that picture, and ask if men can do all of those things – in the way that women can – then the answer is no...."

And when the pressures get too much: "To lose control mentally and emotionally can/must/should only be done in a proper manly way."  

What is that?  - "a proper manly way"?

Ultimately, the whole globe is in transition as we come to a zenith in the need for  self-awareness, or else get swallowed up in the myriad of  identities forced up on us by mainstream media and intrusive bolshie ad campaigns telling you will never be happy unless... and when you don't meet that unobtainable  standard of femininity or masculinity - designed to be unattainable so you keep buying - you are left with guilt, inadequacy and a struggling self-esteem.
It is the peak of the 500 year capitalist campaign and there is only one way it can go from here.

For one day, one WHOLE day, I challenge you ,while you go about you everyday business, to consciously look around and see how and what types of images of masculinity and femininity are pushed in our faces at every corner, bus stop, tv ad, sitcom, in our language and even in your own home.
And while there are plenty who die at the hands of profit-driven-gotta-have-it greed in the guise of a"democracy" hailing liberal personal freedom and individualism through wars abroad, at home there are many who silently suffer from isolation caused by the pressure of insidiously forced gender roles.  In the age of the metro-sexual male and predatory Cougars, we can no longer push aside how gender socialization and sexual colonization, as crazy as it may sound, is  killing people.

Click the link and check out CALM and what Jane Powell has to say about "Suicide, an Issue for Feminists". http://www.thecalmzone.net/2011/04/a-call-to-feminists/

Here is another article from 2008 where Jane is quoted before the creation of the CALM campaign. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7219232.stm

Help Lines worth checking out:

Depression and Suicide in Men

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/menshealth/facts/depressionsuicide.htm 

Support Line

http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide.php

MIND

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/people_groups_and_communities/mens_mental_health

Just in case you needed reminding...

Click for more Imani Uzuri

JEAN BINTA BREEZE READS LIVE a tribute to 5 generations of women

Jean touches the core of earthy Womanhood when she reads poems like these in this way.

FEMFEST - a Festival of Women Playwrights – an interview with Hope McIntyre of Sarasvati Productions

I interviewed Hope McIntyre, the Artistic Director of Sarasvati Productions and the driving force behind Femfest. Where other festivals with women at their focus have died out in Canada, the drive and determination of Sarasvati and all its volunteers, has  Femfest striding in its ninth year.

Click to go to Sarasvati's FemFest 

Website for 2011

Hope is herself a playwright, hence her passion and is at present developing a new theatre piece called "Jail Baby".  Hope Kindly sent the opening monologue:

Spotlight on Jasmine, about 8 months pregnant. 
As she speaks she changes into Remand Centre issue clothes.

JASMINE:      They say you can’t remember that far back – back to being born. Maybe I don’t remember, but if I close my eyes, I can feel the concrete against my slippery little body. I feel metal. I have nightmares of sliding out into a world of bars and cold and noise and suffocation. It’s like something I can’t escape. Born to be in prison. Born a prisoner. Sounds like a bad country song. Even worse, I became known as the toilet bowl baby. Now there’s a good song title. If only someone had taught me to play guitar, I could be traveling the world telling my sorry tale. I’d record an album in Memphis and they’d make a movie about me. (now fully dressed in prison garb, she looks down at herself) I’m just fulfilling my destiny. This is what my mom was wearing when I was born. I’m my mom 18 years later.

I asked Hope what were her future plans for Jail Baby:
"In terms of the plans, we are doing rewrites this year and working towards a full production and publication in May 2013. Our goal is to produce it for the general public but then also take it on

Edens Serpent - A poem

Edens Serpent 

this ‘S’ on my chest
is a molten lava river
flowing down to power source my vulva

this ‘S’, a serpent
gripping its tail in its mouth
swallowing the knowledge of itself
till it is sated

singing infinite circle songs
signing itself onto its own scales
to the tone of the kundalini ohm
a note recognisable in us all
if we only listened

a note that supersedes the noise of misogyny
of war rape and the cost
of living  the nip tuck
dictated by ticked boxes and barbie stencils


WHEN THE 33'S SPIN - Music, Race & a Little Girl - Pt. 1

When The 33's Spin - A poem

Eleven and home alone
with the turntable 
and the shiny liquorice  platter
playing a set
for memories to be made treasures and cuckoo stories
of broken hearts, of lost things found,
of courage liberated
the triumphant fist of blues
the spectrum of emotion played  in those grooves
onyx plates of Soul Food 

Bobby Womack's gravel molasses tones
riffs stretching notes  beyond the elasticity of time
Funkadelic dooloops scoop me on my roller skates:
ripped carpets, broken door handles 

Let's Get It On - big peoples music, it felt new
Marvin understood the expanse of a night for lovers hue 
and why did Anne watch and listen to the rain 
if it made her feel so blue?
I would come to understand, as woman, later
but I know something in my new soul moved
as they crooned...

Extract of Travelling Light in Winnipeg, Canada for FemFest

So in the theatre of the University of Winnipeg, Canada, I asked Steve, the lovely stagemanager, to film me doing a quick warm up of the introduction for Travelling Light. 
It was a dramatized reading of the show that help me understand how far along the show is in it development.

Here is a taste 10 mins before curtain up.